


Morning Song

by iamgizy (saddle_tramp)



Category: NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-16
Updated: 2001-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-15 17:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddle_tramp/pseuds/iamgizy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pairing: Bassez<br/>Rating: PG<br/>Summary: Songfic pretty much covers it. *grins* Runs the gamut from really mild angst to sweet and schmoopy, with a preponderance of sweet and schmoopy, I think.</p><p>And there's definitely someone to blame... *points at Jenn* She keeps feeding the bunnies! JC-bunny bit me, and then Lance jumped up and bit me too, so this is all her fault. *nodsnods*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Song

 

 

~*~*~*~

 _Let the phone ring, let's go back to sleep,  
Let the world spin outside our door, you're the only one that I wanna see.  
Tell your boss you're sick, hurry, get back in I'm getting cold,  
Get over here and warm my hands up, boy, it's you they love to hold._

~*~*~*~

 

The strident ringing of the bedside phone made JC groan, turning his head to hide his face against Lance's throat.

Lance made a soft noise and slid his hand into JC's hair, stroking the back of JC's head gently while he reached for the nearby phone with his other hand. JC made a soft happy noise when he felt Lance's touch and then laid his cheek against Lance's chest again, listening to the sleepy rumble of his lover's voice as Lance spoke softly into the phone.

JC wondered who could be calling him so early in the morning, but he wasn't quite awake enough to make out the conversation yet. He just laid there enjoying the soothing touch of Lance's fingers in his hair and the rumble of Lance's voice, made deeper by the early hour. If they had been at Lance's house it might be anyone, but nobody ever bothered to call JC before nine. They knew he'd be asleep if at all possible, or outside enjoying the sunrise if his insomnia was acting up again.

JC yawned, finally opening his eyes to look across the darkened room towards the window, then wrinkled his nose when he saw the faint hint of silvery light around the drapes. He lifted his head then, moving his arm up from Lance's waist to fold it on Lance's chest as he sleepily watched him listen to whoever was on the other end of the phone, and he frowned when he realized Lance didn't look at all happy.

"It's my life, Stacy," Lance said suddenly, his voice still low with sleep but now laced with anger too, then he hung up abruptly and stared up at the ceiling, an expression few could have read on his face because it was so seldom seen.

JC knew it for what it was though – fear, anger and pain hidden behind a mask of indifference – and shifted again, holding himself up on one elbow as he moved his hand up to stroke Lance's cheek. "Don't let her hurt you, baby, she just doesn't understand."

Lance looked at JC then, his green eyes almost glowing in the darkened room. "She said she's going to tell Mom and Dad if I don't break up with you."

JC looked down, trailing his fingers down the pale skin of Lance's neck to rest on his smooth, solid chest. He was half afraid to find out what Lance was going to do, but he had to know so he lifted his eyes to meet Lance's again and asked softly, "What are you going to do?"

Lance swallowed hard and then replied quietly, "I'm going to go make some coffee and watch the sun rise. Let me up."

JC wordlessly moved over, watching Lance roll out of his bed walk into the bathroom before he buried his face against Lance's pillow, inhaling the familiar scent and wishing Lance would have really answered him. He knew how much Lance's family meant to him, and how afraid he was of what his parents would think if they knew he was not only bi but in a relationship with JC too, and the non-answer was a little scary.

Lance's dad didn't like JC much because of his obvious and unashamed flaming, and had said many times over the last few years that JC should tone it down to preserve the reputation of the group. It had evidently never dawned on Jim Bass that nobody agreed with his opinion because nobody in the group was straight except Justin, and Justin had been dubbed an honorary gay man by Chris at the ripe old age of fourteen. Justin acted 'gayer than gay' according to Chris, but Justin just laughed it off and kept right on flaming, so he wasn't going to tell anyone else not to do it.

At eighteen Justin still said he was straight, but JC didn't really believe him anymore. He thought Justin had fallen for someone he couldn't have – a straight someone – and was insisting on his own straightness so whoever it was wouldn't mind Justin hanging out with him. That of course led to the question of who, and JC had a pretty good idea of the answer to that, too.

Lance sat down on the bed next to him and put his hand on the small of JC's bare back then, distracting JC from his wandering thoughts and making him lift his head to look at him.

Lance smiled softly. "Wanna join me?"

JC nodded, smiling back. "Always, baby."

Lance smiled and leaned down to kiss him, then patted JC's ass familiarly and got up, moving a few feet from the bed and then bending to grab a pair of sweatpants out of the floor. "I'll meet you in the kitchen then."

JC climbed out of bed as Lance quickly pulled the sweats on and then bit his lip as he watched Lance leave the room without another word. He stared at the empty doorway for a moment and then sighed and walked slowly into the bathroom, wondering if last night had been the last time he would sleep in Lance's arms.

 

~*~*~*~

 _Stop thinking about what your sister said,  
Stop worrying about it, the cat's already been fed,  
Come on darlin', let's go back to bed.  
Put the phone machine on hold,  
Leave the dishes in the sink,  
Do not answer the phone,  
It's you that I adore....  
I'm gonna give you some more._

~*~*~*~

 

After he used the bathroom and brushed his teeth, JC pulled on an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt and went to go find Lance, pausing in the hall as he passed the cat's bowl on his way to the kitchen. He bent to pet Traffic, chuckling almost soundlessly when he saw the ginger tabby was happily eating what looked like a whole can of albacore tuna. JC stood after a moment and continued down the hall, smiling softly and making a mental note to tell Lance that the tuna was for him, not the cat. Traffic had his own food, specialty canned stuff that JC ordered online because he couldn’t find it anywhere else.

When JC walked into the kitchen, he saw Lance standing at the stove with his back towards him and his head down, somehow looking sad even though JC couldn't see even a hint of Lance's face. JC impulsively walked over behind Lance to kiss the back of his neck and wrap his arms around Lance's middle.

Lance held himself stiffly away from JC for a moment, and then melted back against him, relaxing into JC's arms as he turned his head to look at him. "I love you, Josh."

JC fought the urge to ask Lance what he was going to do again, instead looking seriously into Lance's eyes as he replied, "I love you, too."

"Nothing will ever change how much I love you, okay?" Lance looked searchingly into JC's eyes, his green eyes dark with pain and sadness, and JC had the sudden feeling this just might be a goodbye.

JC swallowed and tried to smile for Lance as he replied softly, "I know that, baby. Same here. No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

Lance looked into JC’s eyes for another moment and then smiled softly, some of the pain and sorrow leaving his eyes. "I'm so lucky to have you."

JC leaned close to whisper in Lance's ear, "Not as lucky as me."

JC kissed Lance's cheek softly then and Lance smiled, asking, "Why don't we forget about the sunrise and go back to bed?"

JC pulled away slightly and opened his mouth the reply just as the small teakettle on the stove started whistling, then waited for Lance to take it off the flame before he tried again. "Going back to bed would be nice, but we can go after we watch the sunrise. I know how much you love it, and it's not like it'll be hours until sunup."

"It won't be long," Lance agreed, smiling slightly. "You should have thicker drapes put up, Josh, then you could sleep the day away without that pesky sun bothering you," Lance teased gently, kissing JC quickly and then pulling away to see if the coffee was done yet.

JC pretended to pout as he moved to get his mug and a teabag, but he was pleased that Lance was teasing him and smiling. He still had the nagging feeling Lance was going to choose his family, but he really couldn't blame him. If JC's family had told him to 'straighten up' when he admitted that he was gay after the Mickey Mouse Club ended instead of telling him not to come home again, things might have turned out very different for him, too.

 

~*~*~*~

 _We'll sit on the front porch, the sun can warm my feet,  
You can drink your coffee with sugar and cream,  
I'll drink my decaf herbal tea._

~*~*~*~

 

JC curled up against Lance's side on the porch swing, one arm around Lance's waist as he held his mug of deep purple tea in the other and watched seagulls dive and play in the surf about a hundred yards away. JC loved watching the sunrise over the ocean almost as much as Lance did, but he usually watched it while he was winding down from a night in the studio, not after six hours of sleep.

 _And mind-blowing sex when we got home last night_ , JC thought, smiling a little. _God, I am so lucky, I have the three best brothers in the world and the most amazing man in my bed._

JC's smile faded as he remembered that he might not have Lance much longer, and he looked down, taking a sip of his lukewarm tea as he wondered how he could live without Lance. He wouldn't have to live totally without him since Lance's family wouldn't dare try to make Lance leave the group, not with them about to go on tour again, but it wouldn't be the same.

JC liked to have someone warm to hold at night, and during the day too when he could get Lance to take a nap with him. He loved to cuddle and to be held or touched or even just to feel Lance's body heat next to him, and living without that would be very hard.

JC reached out and set his mug on the small table near the swing and then wrapped his arms around Lance's waist, leaning his head against Lance's chest and closing his eyes. He felt Lance's free hand move to gently stroke his shoulder and slowly relaxed under the soothing touch, clearing his mind as he concentrated on listening to Lance's heartbeat.

 

~*~*~*~

 _Pretend we're perfect strangers and that we never met...  
My how you remind me of a man I used to sleep with, that's a face I'd never forget.  
You can be Henry Miller and I'll be Anais Nin,  
Except this time it'll be even better,  
We'll stay together in the end._

~*~*~*~

 

Lance suddenly turned a little on the swing, making JC sit up as he searched Lance's face for some indication of what he was thinking. Lance looked into JC’s eyes in silence for a long moment, and then he asked quietly, "What would you do if I told you to choose me or the group?"

JC's eyes went wide. "Wh- Why would you do that?"

Lance rolled his eyes and set his coffee mug on the table by the swing, then shrugged and gestured futilely with his hand, unable to explain what prompted the question. "I don't know, just... If I did, what would you do?"

JC looked at Lance for a long moment, taking in his serious look, then looked down at Lance's thigh, picking at the material of his sweatpants and thinking. He knew Lance didn't want a platitude, he wanted to absolute truth, so JC took the time to sincerely think it over before he finally lifted his gaze again and looked into Lance's eyes. "I'd choose you."

Lance looked into JC’s eyes searchingly for a moment, and then he leaned closer and kissed JC. He lingered for a long while, slowly exploring JC’s mouth before pulling away and then standing up to offer JC his hand as he said simply, "Come make love to me."

JC took his hand and stood as he smiled softly. "I would love to."

Lance gave him a sweet loving smile and tugged him towards the back door, and JC followed docilely as the thought flitted through his mind that he had obviously said the right thing.

 

~*~*~*~

 _Come on darlin', let's go back to bed._

~*~*~*~

 

JC woke up slowly a few hours later, unsurprised to find he was alone and not minding it as he smiled and stretched languidly on the bed. He was pleasantly tired and relaxed, and he was trying to decide what to do with his day until he suddenly recalled what had happened earlier. His smile faded and he rolled out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweats and pulling them on before he started towards the den, hoping Lance would be there on the computer working like he usually was. JC walked quickly down the hall away from the kitchen and was almost to the den when he heard Lance talking and stopped in the hallway to listen to the one-sided conversation.

"Yeah Mom, I'm sure this is what I want. .... I know Dad won't approve. ... Yes, I know it's hard to be gay and that we can't come out. We're nowhere near that yet anyway. ... We're in love." There was a long pause then before Lance said with more than a little heat, "God wouldn't make me feel this way about someone if he didn't want me to be with him, Mother. The way I feel when I'm with Josh is _not_ evil."

JC closed his eyes and bit his lip at that, swallowing as he remembered his own mother telling him what he did with other men was a crime against nature, but his eyes flew open as he heard Lance speak again, sounding mollified.

"I'm glad you want me to be happy, you just need to accept that _Josh_ makes me happy. I love him more than anything, and I refuse to hide it from you anymore."

There was a pause and JC inched towards the den, leaning around the doorjamb and looking into the room at Lance's back, then brightening hopefully at Lance’s almost happy tone as Lance said, "I love you too, Momma. We'll be up to visit for a day or two before the tour. .... Yes, both of us, but we'll stay at a hotel, so don't worry. ... Stacy and Ford don't approve, Mom, and I refuse to subject Josh to her cattiness without giving him someplace to go to avoid her. ... You don't have to do that, we live in hotels half our lives now, we're used to it."

Lance was silent for a moment and then sighed, shrugging his shoulders and looking down, one hand in his lap playing with something as he nodded. "Okay, okay, we'll stay with you, but only if we share a room. ... Mom, he's my heart and soul and if I sleep, I'm going to be sleeping with him. If you don't like it, tell me and we just won't stay in your house anymore. ... I know Dad won't like it, so be sure before we get there. If he tells us to get out, we will, and we'll come back home. ... _No_ , Momma, it might be Josh's house, or my house, or the compound, but it'll be somewhere down here. _Florida_ is my home now."

Lance was silent another moment, obviously listening as he began to slowly twirl the desk chair side-to side, and when he caught a glimpse of JC out of the corner of his eye he turned all the way around, giving JC a quick smile. "I gotta go, Mom, I've got something important I need to do. ... I love you too, I'll talk to you soon. ... Alright, bye." Lance listened a moment longer and then took his cell away from his ear, flipping it closed to set it on the desk nearby as he gave JC a smile. "Sleep good?"

JC nodded wordlessly, stepping further into the room and looking hopeful. "Was that your mom?"

"Yeah," Lance replied, standing up to walk around the futon-style couch towards JC. "I had to tell her something important." Lance paused about three feet from JC and then knelt suddenly, making JC's eyes go huge as he saw that Lance had been playing with a small velveteen box.

"I've been going to ask you something for months now," Lance said softly, smiling up into JC's wide eyes. "I wanted to tell my family I was gay first, but I was scared I'd lose them so I kept putting it off. I realized while you were sleeping this morning that I could take losing them, but I can't take losing you." Lance flipped open the box then, smiling lovingly up at him as he said softly, "Josh, you're my heart and soul and all the family I'll ever need... Will you make me the luckiest man in the world and wear my ring?"

JC stared at him a long moment, blinking slowly as his mind tried to process what was going on, then he said the first thing that came to mind. "You're not gay, you're bi."

Lance resisted the urge to laugh, wondering if JC had even heard the rest of what he said. "I've been with a few girls but you're all I want or need from now on, Josh. That makes me gay in my book."

JC nodded, understanding Lance's rationale now that he had explained it, and looked down at Lance, nibbling on his lower lip until his eyes came to rest on the ring and his jaw suddenly dropped, his eyes darting back to Lance's face. "You asked me to wear your ring."

Lance nodded, unable to help a little grin at the shocked elation in JC's eyes, and when he heard JC's sudden happy laugh a moment later he wished for a way to capture the moment, thinking that JC had never been more beautiful.

JC fell to his knees in front of Lance then, ignoring the ring as he cupped Lance's jaw in his hands and leaned close to kiss him, licking and sucking at Lance's lips between repeated whispers of, "Yes."

 

~*~*~*~

 _Put the phone machine on hold,  
Leave the dishes in the sink,  
Do not answer the door,  
It's you that I adore....  
I'm gonna give you some more._

~*~*~*~

 

"We can't get married here," JC said suddenly almost half an hour later, making Lance move to fold one arm behind his head so he could see JC's face better.

It was nearly three in the afternoon, and the sun had finally moved far enough across the sky to flood through the wide bay windows of JC's office, bathing the two men laying on the futon in bright, drowsy warmth that had Lance considering another nap. JC was much too wide awake to sleep though, and he was happily watching the silver band on his left hand as he slowly moved his hand against Lance's chest, admiring the tangible proof that Lance was going to spend his life with him. Every movement changed the way the diamond-cut wave pattern on the ring sparkled in the sunshine streaming in the windows of the office, and after a moment JC noticed how moving it made reflected bits of light move across Lance's skin. JC grinned and made a fist, slowly flexing it as he directed the little flickers of light across Lance's skin, as pleased with his bright new toy as any toddler would have been.

Lance began trailing the fingers of his other hand slowly up and down JC's sweaty back, watching JC with amusement. "Do you want to?"

JC laid his hand flat on Lance's chest but didn't take his eyes off the ring for another moment, enjoying the way it and his hand looked against the pale skin before he lifted his head to look at Lance and smiled at him. "Do you?"

Lance tilted his head slightly, smiling as he admired the fact JC's blue eyes were so bright with utter happiness that they almost glowed in the sunshine, then said finally, "A ring is good enough for me, Josh. It means the same thing, right?"

JC nodded, smiling back. "It does to me, baby." JC lifted up to kiss him softly on the lips, then grinned at him and added, "Which means your fine ass is taking the rest of the afternoon off today."

Lance chuckled softly. "And what does one have to do with the other?"

JC smirked and moved to sit up on the futon next to him. "You and I are going jewelry shopping."

Lance groaned and rolled towards JC to hide his face against JC's belly. "Josh, no, please. I hate jewelry stores! I wear a half size bigger than you do and I'm sure anything you pick out will be perfect."

JC grinned, running his fingers through Lance's hair. "Really, baby? You know I _love_ buying jewelry. Are you sure you won't mind whatever I find? I know this neat little shop in St Augustine that has turquoise rings with red coral and—"

"I'll go!" Lance interrupted, sitting up quickly as JC laughed.

 

 

~End


End file.
